Knowing God...

Last weekend Pastor Tan preached a great msg... something that really caught my attention when he talked about Judas's attitude and mentality before he betray Jesus. He made a foolish decision because he didn't know God!!!

that really caught my attention. Judas was one of the 12 disciples, following Jesus everywhere He goes... how come he don't know God??? But I was truly captivated by what Pastor said.... "you will made foolish decision when you don't know God".


This week had been a really tough week... emotionally.... as I've mentioned in the earlier blogs... it is a tough week cos I constantly in fear that someone will backstabbed me... i kept thinking why must things turn out this way?! Mayb i too paranoid... but to all things, there must be a root to any cause... i was feeling so miserable... but God is good, ALL THE TIME

For my past few years of working, i don't recall that i ever cried in office... on tue, i broke down twice... of cos in the toilet la... embarrassing, but it was really too much to bear... but God was there when no one else was...

when it becomes unbearable, God sents help from my HK's manager to help me clear things up without even me talking abt it, she defines my jobscope and i can see that she stood on my side... when things become unbearable again... I received an encouraging email from SY!

many times when i was so down... i almost made many many foolish decisions... eg, throw in my resignation ltr, confront my "enemy" etc etc... but Praise God, each time when such thoughts come to me, immediately God rebukes that thought... He comforts me whenever He knows it is too unbearable...

Today i finally made my decision, i said a prayer of protection and letting go before i left office. Today was 1st CG, i dun want my emotions to be distracted... so i decided to let God, I'll let go... not easy... but i managed to do it... i managed to shut myself from being influenced by her words, her actions... i just concentrated on my work, focus on my lunch appt and my CG... haha... that really works!!

anyway i'm tired now... lost lots of tears just now... shall continue tmr...


~~ to be continued....