continuation...

hmm... where did i stop??? oh ya...

when i manage to let it go... let go all my perceptions, let go of thinking why are things turning out this way, let go of thinking what's in her mind.... i felt so relieved... not totally yet... but at least i dun "peep" at her and what's she doing... (in fear that she writes anything against me, gossip against me)... the day passed smoothly...

finally the day is over... time for CG! exciting... new cg, familiar faces, anointed atmosphere... hahaha... as we were even singing the 2nd praise songs, somehow tears well in my eyes liao... during testimony time... everyone testified on how God's favor was upon each of their lives and how they've obtain man' favor too... it reminded me how much i used to testify on God's & man's favor showering in my life... soon as we enter worship... tears just flow again... hee... this time round, not becos I'm sad or pity-ing myself for whatever that has happened... but really tears of gratitude towards God how He has protected me thru' this week, how God was never too early or late to shower me with His love and assurance that He is always there...

CG sermon this week was on DISAPPOINTMENT... wow... what a timely message, disappointment on things, events and pple... so often our source of disappointment are from people... mostly due to expectations on others... during ministry time, bro isaiah wants to pray for those who are disappointed, going thru disappointments in their lives... i put up my hand... knowing God will do supernatural things, bring encouragement to me... Bro isaiah shared that whenever he is discouraged, down spiritually.. he will always sing a love song to God... when we are able to sing, we are able to lift up our burdens to God...

as i begin to sing, waiting to be laid hands on, i sang... sang a love song to God, sang in the spirit... but softly... suddenly my heart was stirred up... i want to open my mouth and sing "louder"... no words, no melody came out... suddenly tears flow uncontrollably... my heart was so grief... i sob! (yes... sob...) but as i sob, God's presence just saturated the entire living room... suddenly i began to hear God whispering into my ears...

He reminded me of Job (again)... Job encountered discouragements again and again... it didn't end just becos one had happened... I was looking @ my own life... how since i came to this job, since the beginning of this year, how i had to constantly battle with discouragement... how each time when i wanna give it all up, how God picks me up, gives me a word to assure me that everything is going to be ok... how I've battled in this race and give it all i could, only to bring in more discouragement... but God tells me that He knows it, He saw it and He know how pain is it to go thru... but He says HE IS PROUD OF ME... you know... God said that He is proud of me tat i didn't give in to this battle... how many times i could throw in the towel and say i give up... it is too hard... but I hang in there... when i heard that... songs just flow out, melody just flow... at that instance, i found new strength!

hee... then later bro isaiah ask those who haven't been prayed for to raise their hands... hee... i didn't... cos at that point... i felt new strength flowing thru' me... (hee... not because i don't want bro isaiah to pray... )

God is good... God is never late... He knows exactly what's going thru' your lives.. He knows what's your threshold and when it is beyond what you can take it... He will, definitely will bring refuge to you!!